DVD

Buying pirated DVDs would have never been easier for me. That is a sure advantage of having fair skin colour.

Holiday Plaza in JB is notorious for its pirated stuffs, ranging from movie and software DVDs, to cheap designer handbags and clothings. When things are doing well and I have nothing more important to worry and to think about, I’ll go to Holiday Plaza and get some pirated DVDs to watch. It’s illegal, I know. But when it is operating and the big guys are not doing anything about it, you will come to think that it is ok to get dirty with piracy.

But you will not get to buy movie DVDs as easy as buying other pirated goodies. Movie DVDs are rare, and to buy them is a privilege. And considering myself to be one of those who enjoy the privilege , I will generously share the trick and trade of getting yourself to the secret chambers, hidden behind walls of shops of Holiday Plaza.

1. Get yourself dressed up like most Chinese guys/girls do.

2. Go to Holiday Plaza and you’ll see shops selling items like CDs holder or toys for babies, with a Chinese guy normally equipped with a walkie. Walk through those shops and walk slowly without being suspicious.

3. Pretend like you are looking for something, but it is not there. Buat muka blur.

4. If your attempt to look like a Chinese succeed, that guy with walkie will ask you in Chinese, which you won’t understand a bit, accept for a magic word- ‘DVD’.

5. This is the most crucial part. DO NOT REPLY. Just give him a nod, and show him a ‘thumb-up’ signal. He’ll lead you to the door to secret chamber and call his fella inside using his walkie to open up the door for you. (The door is normally a high-tech one, that can only be opened from inside).

6. In case of the guy asks you an additional question (normally due to your bad acting thus invites suspicion), try to reply him in English, trying to sound as Singaporean as you can. A simple reply that you can give is “I’m sorry?”.

7. If step #6 fails, I strongly recommend you to give up on that shop and proceed to the next available potential target. Should you feel that your acting was a total failure, I recommend you to call it a day and try again tomorrow, as the news of a fake Chinese trying to get into the secret chamber are spreading through the walkies as you walk to the next target. The chance of success then would be 0%.

Happy trying =)

DISCLAIMER: I would not be responsible if any of you readers get caught buying pirated DVDs in Holday Plaza. Treat my writing here as a mere experience-sharing and view anything bad from a curing, preventing perspective of view. Lets stop piracy, together with Mr Police and KPDNHEP.